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News stories from various sources
around the BC Cariboo region.

We will not be limited to the caribou. You will find Chilcotin news, Shuswap news, Okanogan news, and news from all over British Columbia.

 

Log 42: My Truck is Bricked, and the Neighbors are Sandworms

Subject: Don't trust the "Martian Off-Road" preset.

I finally did it, guys. I’m the first person to get a Tesla Cybertruck stuck in the Gale Crater. Turns out, "Ultra-Hard 30X Cold-Rolled Stainless Steel" is actually just a fancy way of saying "giant solar oven for my own despair."

I stepped out this morning—well, I tried to. The motorized tonneau cover froze shut because of a light dusting of hematite, and apparently, the door handles are "optional" when the temperature hits -80°C. I had to use a thermal drill just to get to my groceries. 

The Lowlights of My Commute:

  • The Suspension: Elon promised "adaptive air suspension." On Mars, this means the truck bounces once on a pebble and I’m legally classified as a satellite for three to five minutes. I spent most of my commute today staring at the Earth—which, from here, looks like a tiny blue marble that doesn't have a 48-month financing plan for a truck that can't handle a dust devil.
  • The "Bulletproof" Glass: A rogue pebble hit the windshield yesterday. It didn't shatter, but it did create a hairline fracture that looks suspiciously like the Tesla logo. Every time I look at it, I feel like the truck is mocking me.
  • Charging: I have to wait for "peak sunlight," which is difficult because the sun here looks like a weak LED bulb someone left in a foggy bathroom. I’m currently getting 2 miles of range per 48 hours of charging. I could literally crawl to the Olympus Mons Base faster than this thing can go to the store.

The Aesthetics of Failure

The most ridiculous part? The truck actually fits in here. It looks like a low-poly asset that failed to load in a video game from 1996. Against the red dust, it’s just a giant, silver wedge of hubris.

 FLASH: I'm waiting for a tow. The nearest service center is in Texas.



Cariboo Time Travel - A great article

You should at least take a look at this story.
I'm always amazed that people take the time to publish their stories.
I guess it is because I type at about 5 WPM, and to do anything is just too difficult.
Also, I cannot spell.

B.C. Conservatives accuse NDP of ‘secrecy.’

Next came -  
Bye Bye Rustat

 

Ole was chased down on the highway by a state trooper.


Once he caught up to Ole, the trooper said, “It’s late, and I’m due to go off shift soon. Give me a good reason why you were speeding, and I’ll forget about giving you a ticket.”


Ole thought a bit, then said, “My wife ran off vith a trooper and I tought yew vere bringing her back.”

Quesnel 1950. 75 years have passed. Do you recognize anything?

One thing wrong with the

younger generation is that

many of us don’t belong to

it anymore.
I was once a male trapped in a female body…but then my mother gave birth.

I want to grow my own food, but I can't find bacon seeds.
According to the BMI chart at the doctor's office, I'm 6 inches too short.
Do race horses slow down when they see police horses?